Thanks to the miracle of modern technology, plants are now able to throw off the cruel chains of human oppression and survive without our help, provided they have access to an Arduino board, a water pump, and a reliable source of electricity.
There's absolutely no reason to do something peacefully and by hand when you could do it violently, with lasers, instead. Germany agrees, and scientists there are developing a system that replaces the task of pulling weeds with a system of plant-pulverizing semi-autonomous laser cannons.
There are two excellent reasons to grow plants out of your computer. One, it's pretty. Two, it's nutritious. Three, the waste heat actually helps the plants grow, and four, you're helping to offset the massive amounts of lifecycle carbon that your computer is responsible for.
They say that leaves don't grow on trees, and they're right: leaves grow in labs. Labs at MIT, where some exceptionally clever biochemists have reinvented the ol' tree finger and turned it into something that's useful for more than something to keep giraffes in business: this artificial leaf can take sunlight and convert it straight into hydrogen and oxygen.
In keeping with the old proverb that rolling stones gather no moss, this stationary table not only gathers plenty of moss, but gathers plenty of electricity as well, hacking into the photosynthesizing plants to harvest enough power to keep small devices like clocks charged up and happy.
Aphids eat plants. It's what they do. To try to get them to top devouring plants that we want to eat, we can try to kill them off with chemicals, or we can just genetically engineer a new strain of wheat to emit aphid panic pheromones. It doesn't kill the bugs, but it does scare them away.
It's hard to find room in the middle of a city to plonk down enough trees to make any appreciable dent in the amount of pollution. Instead of trying to clear space for a new park, the city of Milan has decided to take their forest vertical with a pair of 25 and 35 story buildings completely covered in trees.
Plantagon, a Swedish company that makes greenhouses, is happy to remind us all that by 2050, nine billion people will be living on Earth, seven billion of them will be living in cities, and every single one of them is going to be hungry a lot of the time. Plantagon has the solution in the form of skyscrapers for plants. Tasty plants. And they're building one.
Pitcher plants make a living by drowning insects inside special cup-shaped leaves and then feeding on their remains. To get the insects to fall in and stay in, the plants have evolved an exceptionally slippery substance to coat their leaves, and a new synthetic material that mimics this substance is ten times slipperier than the next best thing.
There's always been something a little bit sinister about the outdoors, being all big and out there and full of bears. It's a shame that the plants we eat depend on the outdoors so heavily, but as it turns out, plants are brainless and don't know what's best for them. In fact, they're better off growing inside under the warm friendly glow of red and blue LEDs.