We know, you're so sick of iPad news and hearing about "Heatgate" all over the Internet. Sit back and relax, because this video of three of Wicked Laser's powerful lasers setting an iPad on fire — ever so slowly — is sure to warm the Android and Microsoft camps.

Almost everything that can be said about the new third-generation iPad has already been said. Its 2048x1536 resolution Retina Display is crisp — and more advanced than even the largest and sharpest HDTVs. The 4G LTE is so fast that it's sometimes even speedier than Wi-Fi. Retina-ready apps look unbelievable — even better than printed paper — and the rear camera finally produces pictures that aren't horrible. It's for all of those reasons that I (and the millions of people who waited in line outside Apple Stores) love the new iPad. I'm coming up from a first-gen iPad, myself. But I've been using the third-gen iPad for four straight days and "resolutionary" (Apple's copy, not mine) as the tablet is, there's always room for improvement and here we present the areas where the new iPad can still grow. If you want to read a more positive take on the new iPad, you can check out Stewart's take on it from last Friday. Otherwise, get ready for some criticism on Apple's latest.

Have you seen the lines at the box office? It's an avalanche! It's a torrent! It's the biggest hit on Broadway! Wait, that was "Springtime for Hitler." I meant to describe the third annual avalanche and torrent at Apple stores — and Verizon, AT&T, Wal-Mart, Best Buy and other retailers — that started selling the new iPad 3 this morning. (Yeah, I know — "iPad 3" verboten. Tough nuggies, that's what it is and that's what I'm calling it.) The question is, should you join the avalanche, stick with your current iPad or — heavens forbid! — remain tablet-less? Not surprisingly, I have some thoughts on these various usage case scenarios upon actually handling and seeing the iPad 3.

What were the brains at Apple thinking by not giving the "new iPad" a name? Are we just supposed to call it "the new iPad" now? That's how Apple's Web site refers to it — with a lowercase "n" in "new," so it's not even a name name. It's pretentious is what it is. But beyond pretension, calling it "the new iPad" is like referring to a new Canon camera as "the new Canon camera," or a new Cadillac as "the new Cadillac" or a new pair of Christian Louboutin shoes as "the new FABULOUS Christian Louboutin shoes." Can you be vaguer? You are aware there are more than one iPad model, right? Apparently not.