Humor stories

In first grade, my teacher asked my class what our desired occupation was in the future. Several other friends and I answered "astronaut." None of us ever did come close. It's an uncertain time for American astronaut hopefuls. The Space Shuttle program's over and we're not even sure how we're going to send new men and women into space without piggybacking on a Soyuz rocket or hopping in a private SpaceX capsule. Yes, things look cloudy and gray now, but we have to remember that as long as we can dream it, we can do it. In a weird, oblique way, that's exactly what Neil DaCosta and Sara Phillips are saying with their set of photos entitled Astronaut Suicides.
You can always count on the gang at The Onion to create a twisted spin on the news, and Steve Jobs taking a hiatus from Apple is no different. Today, they tell us about how Tim Cook introduced a "grotesque new MacBook."
Hint: These bags go with you into the body scanner, and you're not the one handling them. Hey, if you're worried about this, though, then boy howdy do we have the perfect underwear for you! The icing on the cake is definitely the badge text — click on through.