15 gifts for tech geeks that began as Internet memes
If I've learned anything over the years, it's that some things, once they've taken hold, feed off of themselves. They grow stronger with the passing of time, envelop more of the population, more of the calendar, more of everything. Sometimes they even swallow up other monsters of the zeitgeist, creating new uber-phenomena. Cellphones were once non-essential kit, but once they ate a few cameras, interwebs and computer-like processors, the smartphone was born and the world rejoiced.
One of the biggest, most unstoppable phenomena in the known universe is holiday creep. This year in my neighborhood wintry decorations were put up by the city even before Halloween! Well, I'm here to report that the holidays are at it again. Its most recent target? The Internet meme.
That's right. Things that were born as GIFs are now becoming gifts, and in alarming numbers. Here are 15 of the Internet's best and brightest that have been bent to the will of the holiday season. If my smartphone analogy holds strong, these just might be the best gifts of all time.
Editor's Note: Because many of the items below are handmade, quantities are extremely limited for some of the gifts featured here. All items were available for purchase as of this post.
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1. Nyan Cat That's right. That perpetually flying, singing, Pop-Tart-bodied cat has been plucked from the Internet and made into a scarf. The body of the scarf is comprised of Nyan Cat's rainbow contrail, with Nyan Cat affixed to the end. I can think of no better homage to good olâ Marty, the cat that inspired it all — may he rest in peace. A single press of the Pop-Tart unleashes the scarf's secret weapon: a 10-second track of good ol' nyanning. That's only 3,600 presses to reach the magic 10 hour mark. Price: $80
2. Honey Badger Honey Badger doesn't care that it has been co-opted into this flask design. It doesn't care where you need a lil' sip of the booze, or even if that would be against the rules. Honey Badger doesn't care which one of the 12 customizable colors you get your flask in. The Honey Badger flask carries up to 6 oz. of whatever your little heart desires, but donât think for a second that Honey Badger cares one bit about that, either. Price: $16.99
3. Keep Calm and Carry On Once a symbol of British unity and spirit, this meme now has more versions than anyone is willing to count. Leave it to good ol' James Hance to come up with a commentary on the Keep Calm phenomena that still makes us smile. Purchasable through Redbubble, the design is available in 20 colors, men's and women's T-shirts and hoodies, and even as baby clothes. That's almost as many different options as the meme itself! Wait. No. No, it isn't. Price: $19.92+
4. Sneezing Baby Panda Clicking the play button over and over again is no longer the only way to enjoy Momma Panda's surprised expression at her baby's sneezing. This lovingly duplicated "co-meme-orative" ornament captures the very instant of that now world famous expelling of air. Even Momma's little snack is correctly represented. The statue is cast in porcelain and stands 3" x 3" x 4". Just precious. Price: $100
5. Charlie Sheen In one inspired interview, Charlie Sheen spouted off whole bushels of meme-worthy quotes and mannerisms. Now, through the magic of bobble-headery, you can reenact many of Charlie's greatest hits. Not satisfied to just sit there and bobble, Charlie also spouts six of his best Sheenisms. Our favorite of the bunch? "Built by trolls. Keep that in mind: phones were built by trolls." Price: $11.62
6. Joseph Ducreux One man who might have been able to keep up with Mr. Sheen's Adonis DNA was the venerable old Joseph Ducreux. Painted with pimp cane and hat in full tilt, Baron Ducreux has easily found his way into modern society from beyond the grave. This "brethren before wenches" button can be worn as a show of solidarity with the venerable old Baron and painter, or merely as a statement of priorities. Price: $2
7. Gangnam Style Well, this one didn't take long to jump off the screen. The Gangnam Style USB drive doesn't quite have the moves of South Korean originator PSY, but then who does? What it does offer is a selection of storage space sizes between 4GB and 32GB. What better way to store the different parodies that have sprung up of the the last few months? You might need the 32GB if you want all of them, though. Price: $17 to $35
8. Spaghetti Monster There's no way to make a holiday gift guide and not include at least one religion. And for our purposes here, there's no better deity to include than the Internet-spawned Pastafarian Spaghetti Monster. Complete with clay meatballs and noodley appendages, these earrings evoke the sensation that the Flying Spaghetti Monster has deigned you worthy of near-ear fly-bys. At the very least they'll give you a topic of conversation at an holiday get together. Price: $10
9. Evil Bert Sesame Street has had a remarkably rough year in the papers. So much so that it just might be time to revive to old Bert is Evil meme. This Bert vs. Bert T-shirt hearkens back to the years when Bert was feared. That might be a good thing what with all the ill will befalling him and the rest of his Sesame Street pals. Show your support for Big Bird's bad buddy and Public Broadcasting's wartime consigliare. Price: $17.99
10. Vader vs. Hitler In what just might have been the most epic rap battle in history, Adolf Hitler duked it out with Darth Vader. While the judges are still out as to who won, Darth Vader's "suck my robot balls" line was probably the best zinger. These immortal words have been lovingly stitched into this year's must-have stocking stuffer. The wooden hoop is six inches in diameter and the cloth features Darth Vader's metal mug. Price: $25
11. Fail Whale Twitter users the world over feel a mixture of disappointment and glee whenever they meet eyes with the fail whale. That mix of emotions is echoed often by drinkers the world over when they take that first look in the mirror come morning. How fitting then that the Fail Whale Pale Ale contest has merged the two. Next time you see the Fail Whale, you can crack open a cold one and sip out of this stylish pint glass as you wait for Twitter to catch back up with itself. Price: $10
12. Like a Sir If beer isn't classy enough for you, or if you just like acting fancy from time to time, then this wine set is for you. The carafe and four accompanying wine glasses are all etched with the venerable visage of the "like a sir" Rage Comics character. Sit back, relax and enjoy your preferred bottle (or box) of fermented grapes. Quite Lovely. Price: $40
13. Botched Ecce Homo Also known as Potato Jesus, this alarmingly terrible art "restoration" was originally thought to be a work of a vandal. I'm still not sure that theory was wrong. What is truly inspired is how damn cute this mini MUNNY version turned out to be. Lovingly hand-painted in acrylic, each one is, I'm sure, unique and in no way as terrible as the horror that started the whole craze in the first place. Thank the Spaghetti Monster for that. Price: $63
14. Double Rainbow Now, let's be honest. Hungrybear9562 likely ate something that he shouldn't have before realizing that "it was rainbowing for at least an hour" one day. And once that second rainbow showed up, all bets were off, right? Well, someone by the name of "Uncle Milton" has bottled this mind blowing phenomenon. So now, whether you live in a basement apartment or the Amazon, you can experience your very own double rainbows. Every. Day. What does it mean?! Price: $16.29
15. The Narwhal Narwhals have enjoyed a number of cycles through the memeosphere. There was a song, a secret phrase for Redditors, and even a few death matches with that other horned beast, the unicorn. The Internet can't get enough of them. And here's proof: The Avenging Narwhal play set. This isn't even the first version of this toy. He even comes with a penguin to skewer. You know, for vengeance sake. Price: $7.50
