You probably haven't received a text message from a cow lately. If you had, you could be in for an (unpleasant?) surprise. The new system, developed for the immense Swiss dairy industry, lets farmers maintain a direct SMS connection with a device implanted into a cow's genitals.
Don't worry; there is a point to all of this. Switzerland's dairy industry is predicated on milk production. Given price pressure in the market, farmers are pushing their herds to produce as much milk as possible. This stresses cows, reducing their outward signs of being in heat and making it much more difficult for farmers to know when cows are ready for artificial insemination.
The solution, as imagined by clear-eyed Swiss researchers, is to use two sensors to detect a cow's friskiness rather than reducing the stress levels of the animals. The two sensors — a thermometer and transmitter in its genitals, as well as a motion detector and SIM card slot around its neck — work in tandem to let farmers know when the special moment has come. The readings go from the cow's privates, to her neck, straight to your smartphone.
The expected cost of the system will start around $1,400. And no, we don't know if that comes with free installation.