War is a messy business at the best of times, but it could get even more foul if a Russian inventor's personal human waste extracting tank gets built.

Aleksandr Georgievich Semenov's patented idea solves the problem of waste buildup inside the tightly packed quarters of a tank, by loading the poop into artillery shells which can then be fired at the enemy. Semenov says that this serves a dual purpose. It gets rid of the foul waste, while also demoralizing the enemy. Personally, I expect that when you're getting fired upon with artillery shells, a little stinky poop would actually be the least of your worries. It wouldn't help, though — and waste getting in an open wound could cause a serious infection or worse.

Semenov was granted Russian patent #2399858, which comes with a hilarious drawing of how the system works. Apparently he believes that Russian tank commanders rumble around with their drawers dropped, pooping as they go, providing plenty of ammo for the tank's crap cannon. What the heck would they be feeding these soldiers?

I'm not sure if the poop tank will ever make it into production, but I sure hope they'll warn us before they start pelting everyone with the stinky stuff.

Guardian, via Neatorama