1. Hand Mortars Technically called "grenade launching wheellock pistols", you are gazing at what is likely the only known matching pair of these bad boys. Hailing from way back in the Musketeer days of the 1580s, these were hand-held weapons capable of delivering explosive ordinance that could have remained relevant all the way through World War I. Each measures 14" in length, with a 6 1/2" barrel capable of firing 2"-calibre grenades. For a soldier on foot, this was an immense amount of firepower to carry around, if only for one shot.

2. Turret Rifles Jumping ahead a few years, we offer for your perusal the Porter Revolving Turret Rifle. Manufactured in 1851, this weapon was both a thing of beauty and chock full of stopping power. The Porter Rifle fired nine rounds of .48 caliber slugs before needing to reload. It also featured a strong octagonal barrel and offset sights which compensated for the turret's placement. So why didn't it catch on? A man by the name of Colt (yes, that Colt) slandered Porter. Colt even went so far as starting the rumor that Porter had accidentally offed himself in showcasing the turret rifle. Ah, business.

8. High-Capacity Revolvers Before the magazine was invented, cattle rustlers were already feeling the need for more than six rounds. Enter the Lefaucheux 20-Round! Invented in 1823 in France, the 20-Round had two vertically stacked barrels and a single cylinder which housed all 20 bullets. The rounds were off-set so that only one bullet was fired at a time, alternating between the twin barrels. The 20-Round did actually come across the pond from France and was even documented as being used during the Civil War.

4. Dragons Wait, stick with me! I didn't just go all Game of Thrones on you! You have likely heard of a blunderbuss, yes? And possibly a type of soldier called a "dragoon" — mounted gun-toting cavalry? Well it's from this gun that they took their name. These were flintlock pistols whose barrels scooped outward like their blunderbuss big brothers. In their day they stood as the final line of defense for a besieged cavalryman. Their short range and single-shot capacity doomed them as time marched forward, but their stopping power was amazing, especially in dealing with opponents who had dodged your sword. A truer hand-cannon there may never have been.

5. Pole Guns Swinging back to the 1500s, we head east for our next entry. Known as a bardiche, this evil-looking weapon was likely crafted by the Mughal Empire, owing to their penchant for affixing guns to EVERYTHING, with this thing here as possibly their crowning achievement. This weapon could out-reach a sword, pierce armor and had the capability of shooting anyone at point blank range who happened to live through your first assault. Add to that the needle-shaped dagger hidden away in the pommel, and you have yourself a veritable Swiss Army Knife of destruction! (Photo Credit: Colin Druce-McFadden/DVICE)

6. Cutlass Pistols Like something out of Final Fantasy VIII, our next entry comes from an oft-passed-over era in the late 1800s when men were obsessed with mash-ups of the deadly variety. Of all the makers of these real-life gun blades, Dumonthier stood above the rest. Their designs did more than just weld a revolver to a Bowie knife, they forged the barrels of their guns as part of the knife blade. The result is a beautiful, six-shot gun that is also a foot-long knife. Another of their weapons was nearly unmistakable from other cutlasses, except that when you tugged down on the guards, twin triggers suddenly flipped out from the knife's grip, revealing a hidden, double barreled gun.

7. Steam Guns What's a retro-tech list without something with "steam" in the title? Rest assured, this furnace-turned-tank is well worthy of our list. The Baltimore Steam Gun was truly something to behold. It did not use gunpowder, but rather relied upon "centrifugal" forces, powered by a steam engine, to fire up to 200 rounds a minute. It also had a two-mile range and could be loaded with anything from cannonballs to traditional shot. Invented during the Civil War by Charles S. Dickinson — a Confederate supporter living in Maryland — the gun had more than its fair share of political issues, and was ultimately never used in combat.

9. Harmonica Guns My one regret in reporting this charmingly odd item is that it does not, in fact, serenade your foes as you send them to the grave. What is interesting about this gun is that Jonathan Browning, father to the more famous John Moses Browning, invented it in 1834. It was then later "invented" all over again by a Frenchman by the name of Jarre in 1859. Even stranger, the original Browning models carried nine cartridges, while Jarre’s models carried only eight!

10. Tiny Guns The smallest entry on our list hails from the days before women would have been so uncouth as to carry an unsightly gun. Measuring in at a mere 1 7/16" (including the ring), the Femme Fatale was meant to be worn on the small finger. This dainty device boasted a tiny hammer that was cocked with your fingernail and carried seven rounds of .06-caliber ammo. Also of note is the absolute lack of a barrel, also known as the "pepperbox principle" — which translated to a real lack of range or accuracy, though the guns were meant for point-blank exchanges.

11. Multipurpose Weapons Is anyone else thinking the ladies always have all the fun where compact weaponry is concerned? Enter the “Apache" revolver. A compact six-shot revolver, set of brass knuckles and knife all in one, the Apache could be folded down to 7.8" in length — snug enough to fit in a gentleman’s coat pocket. Designed in Belgium and popularized by French street gangs, it may have been its utter lack of a barrel which ultimately condemned it, much like the Femme Fatale. One other cool rumor about these suckers was that they were secretly issued to British Commandos in WWII.

12. Superposed Load Rifles The final rifle on our list is also the oldest (rifle) as well as the rarest. Sporting an artful, skeletal structure, this single 1820 prototype is the only one in known existence. Dubbed "The Roman Candle," it was muzzle-loaded with 12 superimposed .44-caliber bullets, separated by powder charges. 12 flintlock hammers lined the gun's bore; after the first shot was fired the second hammer would be cocked. Bonus: Superposed weapons have actually come back into fashion in the Metal Storm line.

3. Chain Rifles Sticking with our rifle theme for a moment, We introduce the French Guycot Chain Rifle. If the nine shots of the previous Turret Rifle weren't enough for you, say no more. In 1878 some French savant found a way to fit 80 — yes I just said 80 — rounds of centerfire ammo into the stock and frame of his gun. Not only that, but because of his ingenious firing mechanism and the "endless chain" feeding it, this rifle could be fired "as quickly as the trigger can be pulled," making it a semi-automatic long-range weapon. Why history ever chose to go another way, I have no idea.