The venerable and prestigious Massachusetts Institute o' Technology has decided to formalize a decades-old practice by awarding official pirate certificates to qualifying students. And not for your pansy-nerd software piracy: these kids are real life swashbuckling salty dogs, who can shoot you, stab you, shoot you again, and then skillfully sail away.
MIT's "Pirate Certificate" gets awarded to students who fulfill their physical education requirements by taking courses in pistol shooting, fencing, archery and sailing. As any pirate will tell you, these are four of the eight skills that are necessary to become a buccaneer, with the remainder including the care and feeding of exotic birds, inverse personal hygiene, eye makeup 101 and how to speak like a salty dog.
Last fall, after much debate (which we assume involved many casks of rum), MIT awarded six students official certificates in Pirating for the first time ever. Reportedly, in addition to the physical education requirements, the awarding of the certificates also came with the recitation of a secret pirate oath, which one student recalls:
"I remember it saying I swear to run from any fight I can't win. To win any fight I cannot run from. Also, to sing yo-ho-ho at the top of my lungs."
MIT, being a little bit of a buzzkill, also requires students to sign a disclaimer stating that their certificate is for entertainment purposes only:
"'We don't want to give [the impression] we're giving permission to go out on the Charles River and commandeer boats,' said Cheryl Silva, an associate physical education professor who teaches archery at MIT."
Too bad. Boston would be a much more interesting city to live in if piracy was officially sanctioned by an
Ivy League still halfway decent school.
Via Boston Globe