To most Americans, soccer is just a bunch of people running up and down a field for 90 minutes, only to end in a 0-0 draw. We need a little more excitement, so someone decided to spice things up by giving each player a Tazer, and encouraging them to use it.
Ultimate Tazer Ball seems to be only vaguely related to actual soccer, because in addition to the Tazers, you can pick up the giant fluffy ball and run with it, and there are only four players per side. At least with UTB you can be pretty sure that when a player starts rolling around on the field in agony, they're not just auditioning for an Oscar.
UTB currently has four teams with names like the Philly Killawatts and the Toronto Terror, and a season that kicks off in Bangkok Thailand on March 2. That's odd, I wonder if they had problems getting insurance for matches in the U.S?
Let the zapping begin.