If you can't play an instrument but still want to rock 'n' roll, you can always become an expert air guitarist. The only problem is, air guitars don't exactly rock the house. Now there's a way to play an actual guitar using air, and you still don't need to know a single chord.
The Clippard Air Guitar uses a pile of pneumatic actuators to hold down chords while it picks, strums and otherwise abuses the poor strings. The whole thing is controlled by an iPad through some kind of MIDI controller, so you can just push a button and it's all systems go.
I wish I could tell you that the results make you sound like the new Jimi Hendrix, but to me it sounds more like my own pathetic attempts at playing the ol' guit-box. Listen in the video as it clunks and clacks its way through a very mechanical take on Pachelbel's Canon.
If you really suck that much at music, I would stick with a traditional air guitar, or perhaps an instrument that actually reads your thoughts.