Now that the price of gold is so high, it's starting to bring out the wackos with their crazy schemes to create the precious metal from ordinary stuff. Still, it's hard to top Paul Moran's scheme, which had the man cooking his own poop combined with fertilizer and some other stuff on a heater in his house.

While that's pretty disgusting, Moran ran into bigger problems when his experiment in alchemy went awry, and set his Enniskillen, Northern Ireland apartment block on fire. Quite what recipe he was following isn't clear, but his lawyer told the judge that he is "a man of considerable intellectual ability." Unimpressed, the judge sentenced him to three months in jail.

Insert racial stereotype Irish joke here.

Belfast Telegraph, via Huffington Post