Millions killed in jellyfish anti-nuke protests

Jellyfish have a very relevant objection to nuclear power: facilities that use seawater for cooling suck up untold numbers of jellyfish* (and other marine life) every year. These brainless marine invertebrates have finally decided to take a stand, coordinating a global protest that has resulted in the shutdown of four reactors, and millions of deaths.

Nobody paid much attention when the the seawater intakes of a nuclear power plant in Japan got clogged with jellyfish last week, maybe because there was other, more interesting stuff going on. But when it turned out that the same thing happen in Israel, and twice in Scotland, people started to ask questions.

Of course, it's possible that it's all just a fluke. As Monty Graham, a jellyfish biologist and senior marine scientist at the Dauphin Island Sea Lab off the Gulf Coast of Alabama states, "the several [power plant] incidents that happened recently aren't enough to indicate a global pattern. They certainly could be coincidental."

Could be.

Apparently, even the experts are worried about a jellyfish overthrow of our existing beachfront power infrastructure, and with good reason: when nuclear power and jellyfish mix, the result is the stuff of nightmares. Nightmares, I tell you. Nightmares.

For pictures of what a bajillion jellyfish being scraped out of a nuclear power plant looks like, check out the gallery below.


*Strictly speaking, since jellyfish are not fish, the correct term is "jelllies" or "sea jellies."

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