Do you have something that you would like to see turned into a small pile of dust? Well, this insane industrial shredder should handily take on any such task you throw at it.
Now, this video appears to be pretty old, but I'm not sure what kind of updates would be necessary for a piece of equipment that already seems close to perfect. Just look at it tear through those pieces of wood! Those tennis balls! That...box of tampons, for some reason! Clearly, this is a tool for many jobs, and we will not as questions about why you need to shred a box of tampons so badly.
Also: the music. I think this should come with a cassette tape with that song on it and it should only work when the tape is playing in the shredder's built-in tape player. It's just a part of the process.