Hey. Hi there. Are you sitting near a window? Cool. Well, guess what? Someone could be about to shoot you, right now. You can never be too careful, which is why a bulletproof clipboard could be exactly what you need, and Thinkgeek's now got one in stock.
This clipboard is a clipboard in the same way that any flat slab of anything is a clipboard if it has a clip on in. In this particular case, the flat slab of something happens to be Level II body armor, which is capable of stopping multiple 9mm bullets.
While you might think that lugging around a three pound clipboard on the off-chance that you're going to be shot at is not especially convenient, its mighty heft just makes everything that you have clipped to it seem practically weightless by comparison. My suggestion? A piece of paper with a bullseye printed on it.
You can find the bulletproof clipboard at Thinkgeek for $45, and it's guaranteed to pay for itself with the first bullet that it stops, a fact which Thinkgeek helpfully illustrates in the video below.