Are you an adult, yet somehow incapable of eating or drinking without spilling food all over your self? Well, don't worry about getting it together. Instead, just buy a SlobStopper!
Yes, this product, which is real, is essentially a giant bib that sad, sad adults can wear when they just cannot stop spilling entire cups of coffee down their front. I mean, it seems like the most natural solution to the problem, right? Good lord.