No more worrying about such trivialities as "exercise" and "food" with Razer Venom, the scientifically proven elixir that will turn you into a gaming god. The stuff is laced with oxymialterxin and doctixilin, certain to "keep your body nourished and keep you fit as a fiddle."
If you want to really mainline the stuff, there's a painless intravenous solution that includes five gold-plated needles to suit your particular vein size. Squeamish? Go for the nebulizer, the beautifully designed vaporization module that wafts that Venom goodness all over the place. Great for LAN parties where everybody can get in on the supercharged fun.
Razer says this magic tonic can keep you gaming for 120 hours. It's hard to believe you can be morphed from a 90-pound weakling to an uber gamer for only $39.99. If they're still available April 2, we'll take two.