Magical USB thumb drive contest: We have a winner!

We'd like to thank you, dear readers, for your spectacular responses to our T Power contest. We asked you to describe to us exactly how this seemingly miraculous T Power USB thumb drive works. Little did we realize that you were all so imaginative!

First, we'd like to award an Honorable Mention to Greymattersplat, who actually went to the trouble of explaining how the miraculous T Power is supposed to work:

I hope I don't ruin things by seriously trying to figure out what they're selling, but I did a little digging and found the website of the company that produces this thing. It's actually a USB powered scalar energy generator. Scalar energy, of course, being the quack-theory behind "power pyramids" and "healing crystals". In other words, it's a total crock.

But here's a link to the English version of their site (it's a Korean site) for those that want to know more:

And here is the craziest, most humorous, original, and mind-boggling response of all from our winner of a pair of V-Moda Remix Remote earphones (worth $99.99), i1Patrick:

The first and only sample of T-band energy ever collected was during the original firing of the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in 2008. The scientists operating the LHC for CERN were unprepared for the effects of quantum-level T-band energy and were forced to shut the reactor down or risk losing the only known sample of T-band energy in the universe.

They quickly released a public story of overheating superconducting magnets to explain the shutdown. But, it was merely a cover. The senior scientists at CERN knew they had stumbled upon something with world-shaking significance. Eleven members of CERN's senior scientific team resigned that very day and started KJ Global Ltd, Inc.

Now, after nearly two years of painstaking research and development, the brilliant minds at KJ Global Ltd are proud to present the T*Power*U device. The T*Power*U device is the true meeting of science and art. In many ways, it is the pinnacle scientific achievement in the history of Mankind.

How does it work? T-band energy is, literally, the energy of life. It is what separates all life from all non-life in the universe. If you are reading this, you are a living being and are capable of harnessing the power of T-band energy. The computer in front of you or the chair you are sitting on, as non-living beings, cannot.

The T*Power*U device is capable of emitting ultra low frequency wave radiation with the T-band energy signature using nothing more than traditional USB power. This low frequency T-band energy is capable of curing bloodborne diseases, helping plants grow faster, even reducing eyestrain. Any and all living things placed in proximity of the T*Power*U device can benefit. People, plants, pets, and even politicians can all feel the effects! In fact, exposure to T-band energy has been clinically proven to cure baldness, erectile dysfunction, root rot, and the urge to become a lobbyist.

The T*Power*U device. The world is ready. Are you?

The responses were so great, it was difficult to decide who was the winner. We'd like to thank everyone who entered.