This Geek Clock can only be read by rocket scientists

Well, time to turn in my geek card. I can't make heads or tails of this Geek Clock, which has a crazy equation for every hour of the day. Lucky for us (you're with me on this, right?), the product listing says each clock comes with a cheat sheet.

A Geek Clock can be yours for only $25. Bonus points if you decipher any of the glyphs above (working them out, I mean — obviously all the answers are right there).

UncommonGoods, via GeekSugar