Paul meet Funktionide. Funktionide, this is Paul. Funktionide is a blob that shape shifts thanks to the powers of electroactive polymers — that is, plastics that change shape when an electric current is applied. The concept's creator, Stefan Ulrich, believes that Funktionide could be the answer to loneliness* in the future. As for me, well, I'm looking forward to the blockbuster movie in which Paul and Funktionide fall deeply and plushily in lurrrrve. Let's take a look at the script, shall we?
*Get a pet. Or a gimp.
Scene 1: New York, circa 2020.
Paul, a 30-something tech blogger who lives alone is walking along a deserted street somewhere in
Manhattan Yonkers Little Russia Brooklyn Queens. He is talking quietly into his cellphone.
Paul: 'Kay. 'Kay. Found it. See you in a sec.
He stops at a shopfront doorway and, after taking a surreptitious look over his shoulder, slips inside, closing the door softly behind him.
Interior of a bar filled with tables and chairs, and lined with banquettes. The joint is bursting at the seams with mixed-race couples — white blobs and humans. There is no noise but soft mood music and a strange, synchronised snoring sound. This is the sound of scores of contented blobs, as their partners caress the blob's matt white "skin," or other intimate gestures. Behind the bar stands a white blob, polishing a glass.
Blobman: What can I get you?
Paul: Snowball, please.
As the blobman busies himself with Paul's request, Paul turns away from the bar and surveys the scene. Everywhere are couples. He is obviously looking for someone in particular, but doesn't seem to be having much luck. The blobman interrupts him with a tap on the shoulder.
Blobman: Your drink, sir. That'll be twelve bucks, please.
Paul: Thanks [he peels off $15] Keep the change.
Close-up of Paul. Although poker-faced, there is a mixture of hope and anxiety, disappointment, cynicism, hunger, fear, vegetarianism and bruxism etched on his face. Not to mention anticipation.
Suddenly we hear a voice. Breathy, confident yet nervous, sexy yet childlike, it whispers in Paul's ear. Camera pans back to see white blob, larger than all the others in the bar, up close and personal with our blogging hero.
Large Blob: Paul? Is that really you? It's me — Candida.
Large smile spreads across Paul's face. Fade.