Dear God,

I am, as you know, a lover of man and beast (No! No. Nononono, not in that way, I just mean that I have a dog, so there's no need for you to pick up your Oh Omnipotent One-sized cereal spoon* and smite me with it.) Now, while I'm all for toys and gadgets that make one's life as a pet owner easier, there is such a thing as Going. Too. Far.

And this is it. The PooTrap. Not a dirty video tribute to Lindsay Lohan, it's a harness that you wind round your dog as if it's Friday night down at the Blue Oyster Bar with a poop bag attached. Said bag goes over your dog's bottom and, erm, harvests whatever Fido produces.

Is this really how the human race is evolving these days? Is this what we call progress? Have we become such a prissy race that the idea of bending down and picking up dogs*** is so alien to us?

So, for this thirty-buck aberration of an invention, I would just like you to do one thing for me today, Lord. Pick up that Deity-sized spoon of yours. Stick a Cheerio, Almighty flavor, in it. And flick it, trebuchet-style, at the morons who came up with this idea. No smiting them, that's just going too far, really, I just want them to feel a bit of pain.

Thanks everso, and have a nice day.

Yours sincerely

Addy

P.S. I hope you appreciate the headline. The Reverend Spooner was one of yours, wasn't he?

*I figure you're just finishing off your breakfast.
***hit

Via Crunch Gear