You are not a samurai by any stretch of the imagination. If you were given a samurai sword, you would almost definitely hurt yourself pretty badly, and you follow no honor code like a real samurai. But samurai swords are just so cool! What's a non-samurai to do?
Well, this samurai umbrella is kind of neat. It's an umbrella, see, but it has the hilt of a samurai sword. You won't be able to slice and dice anybody with it, but you will be able to keep yourself dry when it rains. And I'd like to see a real samurai do that!