Inada Sogno massage chair is like a soothing venus flytrap; you're the bug

Inada's latest massage chair, the Sogno, grips you, rubs you, kneads you, strokes you, stretches you, envelopes you from your head to your toes, over more than 1,200 square inches of your body, more than any other massage chair on the market.

You feel a bit weird at first as you're mechanically mangled, held so tight at times that you wish you had agreed upon a safe word. But as you can see from the shots, a splendid time was had by all, including our orgasmic fearless leader, Pete Pachal (last picture). The Sogno comes in three dull colors (slate, creme and chocolate). It will also run you $6,500. Now try to relax.