LoveTrainer would be like an drill sergeant for the bedroom, except it's not real

This, my friends, is a completely ludicrous product. The LoveTrainer is a set of headphones that you and your infinitely-understanding lover wear in the bedroom. It then plays music and tells you what to do with helpful statements such as "The foreplay, will now begin!" and "You are making love, at a very good pace!" Oh my.

Yes, this is maybe the worst product ever. The entire premise is a paradox. I mean, if you're so inept that you'd need something like this, the chances are good that you don't have anyone to use it with. But if you do, you've probably figured out what you're doing enough to not need a robot shouting encouragement in your ear. But hey, it's from Japan, maybe they've figured out something that I haven't.

UPDATE: Looks like this product is a hoax, as evidenced by the placeholder link below and an e-mail from the supposed inventor, who says "this product does not exist." Sorry, Don Juans-in-training.

LoveTrainer, via Gizmodo