Let's face facts here: you're no wizard. You're a great person, I'm sure, but you lack the essential magical powers and mysticism that are required in wizardry. It's too bad, really. But don't worry, you can always cheat a little bit to get at least an air of wizard about you.
Mystical Fire Powder allows you to change the color of any fire, creating a nice blue flame where normally there would be a yellow one. Just sprinkle in some packets of powder, pretend to utter some magic saying to bring forth your powers, and you'll be all set. For extra effect, grow a long beard and wear your bathrobe. Sure, it's not as cool as being able to transform someone into an animal or whatever else wizards do, but at this point you need to take what you can get.