You work hard; you deserve some relaxation at the end of the day. And while hiring a personal masseuse might be the best way to do that, you aren't the King of France or anything. You can't afford such fineries.
This Robotic Massager is a nice compromise, I guess. It's still ridiculously expensive at $13,500, but as it's a one-time fee it's more justifiable. It apparently "automatically adapts its speed and pressure to the body part it's massaging," which is a nice touch, and it has a built-in audio system and touchscreen display for controlling your massage. Alternately, you could just buy a massage chair from the Brookstone at your local mall, but we both know it just won't feel as futuristic. Better to go with the robot.