Your whole life you've felt like you don't really belong. You've escaped your troubles in video games, always wishing you could somehow transport yourself inside of them. Mario and the Princess, they wouldn't make fun of you! You'd have friends, and you'd be a hero! If only it were possible.
Well, I can't transport you into a video game, but I can point you towards a watch that'll make you feel, at least for a fleeting moment, like your dream has been realized. It's the Icon Watch, and it looks all chunky and pixilated just like your favorite games from your childhood. It's the watch Mario would wear if he wasn't a character in a video game and not a real person in any way. I'm so, so sorry.