4 reasons you need a MacBook Air

Gotta love Apple: Only the reclusive Cupertino company could command such a massive amount of attention for such underwhelming announcements. Oooo, HD movies on iTunes, only two months after Vudu started doing it. Then there's Apple TV Part 2, which may as well be subtitled Pretty Please, Won't You Buy It This Time? And now I can actually put a Google icon on my iPhone. Pretty hot, Apple!

The highlight of this afternoon's proceedings was of course the MacBook Air, the notebook that's as thin as a promise. Yes, be assured, this is the item YOU NEED RIGHT NOW. Why, you ask? Why isn't your current MacBook or (gasp!) non-Apple laptop good enough? Click Continue for why you've just gotta get some Air.

1. It's time to one-up those iPhone pansies. When Dale in the next cubicle got his iPhone on the first day last June, he was promptly mobbed like Jon Bon Jovi everywhere he went for a month straight. That memory still burns, doesn't it? Well, it's time you had a stint at BMoC, and the MacBook Air has the goods to elevate your status. If your officemates were impressed by Dale's Google Maps, just wait till they see you play a DVD in one machine and watch it on another. That's Air Magic, baby — you rule the day this time!

2. You don't send enough gifts via interoffice mail. As demonstrated by Steve-O at the keynote, the Air fits comfortably in a typical interoffice envelope. That's fantastic, since I often send gifts to my colleagues, and those gifts are often laptop computers. Now I can stop wasting all those FedEx boxes… it's win-win-win, really.

3. Do something about that disc addiction. CDs, DVDs, CD-ROMs, Blu-ray… enough with the optical-disc storage, already. You've got tons of those suckers lying around, don't you? And what's on them? That's right: movies, music, and files — who uses any of that? Time to get an Air and turn your back on this primitive era of "data."

4. Modern décor. Get two. Put them back-to-back on a shelf. Open them so the screens are at right angles to the keyboards. You've just created the most minimalist bookends ever. Worth every penny!