Sensitive ice cream dispenser knows when you're sad

There are few things that help cheer up sad people like ice cream. I mean, who doesn't like ice cream? That's why the voice-stress ice-cream dispenser is so brilliant. You need to verbally answer some questions it'll ask you before it doles out your frozen treat, and the more miserable your voice sounds, the more ice cream you get. That's right: it's a sadness detector, and it gives extra ice cream as a reward to the truly despondent.

If these things were around everywhere, I think a lot of therapists would be out of a job. I mean, how do you argue with the resulting happiness that ice cream delivers? For the mental health of our nation, I think we should have these placed in public areas everywhere. Come on, people… ice cream!

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