Breaking: Transformer action figures don't transform

Let's say you're my kid brother, who never experienced the wonders of Transformers in the 1980s. And let's say you walk into RadioShack and see this Bumblebee Stomping Action Figure. Its eyes light up, it makes loud crashing noises, and it walks. The one thing it doesn't do is transform into a car. So, it's not really, a transformer, is it, Hasbro? It's just a neat-looking alien/robot.

If you were my brother, you might be confused, because this action figure is one of many Transformers whose fine print reads "product does not convert." These cardboard-box costumes do a much better job.

Radio Shack, via my little brother