Thump your way to inner peace with Yamaha's Drum Machine

I always thought drumming just noisy pastime, but I am so wrong. According to Yamaha, it's a way to express yourself while reliving stress. The Yamaha YDD-60 Digital Electronic Drum Machine makes this form of self-expression high-tech, with a MIDI connection, Aux In, flash memory for storing your songs. In case you can't sing, there are 230 voices (which can be assigned to any pad) and if you break you sticks, fear not — you can play these drums with your hands.

After one week of playing the drums, I am calm and stress free. This comes with a few minor developments: I am homeless, since my girlfriend threw me out for playing them all the time. To make matters worse, she won't believe me when I tell her that I just now discovered the headphone jack. But hey, no worries — life's good and I'm calm. Available in August for $200.