OK, here's a public service announcement. If you're a socially awkward person who would like to make new friends, that's great. In order to do so, you need to avoid certain things. Things like the Shade Blade. The Shade Blade is basically an anti-friends device, something that will keep any potential buddies as far away from you as humanly possible. What is it, exactly? Sit down.
The Shade Blade is a visor with built-in sunglasses and solar panels. Yeah, solar panels. Those are there to power stuff like radios, phones, and walkie-talkies. Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention: Don't use walkie talkies unless you're a cop or a trucker. Really dude, you need to make some effort here. You need to trick people into thinking you're a nice, normal guy, and once you've got them trusting you, then you can bust out the Shade Blade. Until then, leave it at home.