You know that possibly arousing little tingle you get when your phone goes off in vibrate mode? With the m:ssage handset, it gets taken to a whole new level. Now instead of a cheesy text message, or even a few stolen moments exchanging naughty words, your sweetie can dial up your m:ssage and send you a stimulating massage anywhere in the world.
That's all well and dandy, but I'm a tad disappointed that the m:ssage doesn't actually work as a phone, too. Definitely check out the commercial, however, which shows what looks like high school students giving each other massages, undoubtedly prompting Jerry Falwell to spin over as soon as he's in the ground.
The m:ssage handset is available now in the U.K. for the absurd price of $600, and the monthly subscription costs $50, which includes 250 free massages. Now that's a lot of stimulation.