When active parenting is too much of a hassle, it's nice to know technology is there to back you up. This WebGuard Programmable Internet Timer will automatically shut down your Web connection down after your kid has spent however much time you deem appropriate interacting with sex offenders on MySpace. It allows you to set different limits for weekdays and weekends, and there's a really good chance you'll forget to turn it off when you're using it and will totally get screwed during the fantasy football draft. This is the perfect compliment to the KidQuery service you signed up for, allowing you to feel like you're being responsible without actually talking to your kids. The Internet Timer will set you back $100, which might seem expensive but is quite a bit cheaper than the boarding schools you're looking at to let you really give up on parenting altogether.