Virtual Girlfriend/Boyfriend keeps real girlfriends/boyfriends at a distance

Being in a relationship is hard work. It's all about sharing and making sacrifices and being open, which takes energy and effort. If only there was a way to boil a relationship down to its most superficial elements, then take everything human out of it and make it shamefully dorky to boot. As usual the technology world fails to disappoint, delivering you the Virtual Girlfriend/Boyfriend. Combining the dual embarrassments of the Tamagotchi craze and Japanese dating simulators, the Virtual Boyfriend/Girlfriend acts as a pocket-sized significant other, requiring you to dote on him or her to make the relationship work. The creators obviously know how relationships work: the three buttons correspond to gifts, compliments, and places to go, which are really the only three things you need to do in a relationship. Somehow you can also, as they say on the website, "get jiggy with it," which sounds terrible and confusing on any number of levels. The website claims you can use these things to hone your skills with the opposite sex, but really, if you honestly think one of these will make you smoother with the ladies it might be time to just give up and accept the life of celibacy you have in front of you. If you really must, the Virtual Girlfriend/Boyfriend is available now for about $38.

Virtual Girlfriend/Boyfriend, via Ubergizmo