The Oculas: isolate yourself from the world in style

Do you ever get so embarrassed that you just want to crawl into a dark hole somewhere and hide from the world? Do you also have $45,000 lying around? Then put down that shovel, nerdlinger, and check out The Oculas. A big white orb with a recliner and TV built into it, the Oculas cradles you inside its warm, womb-like interior and shuts out the harsh outside world with its silent sliding door. Inside your well-ventilated isolation chamber you can select from any number of colored lights to give it the atmosphere you so desire. Relax as the massage chair works it's magic, then slip on a (presumably PG-rated) DVD to watch on the built-in screen. If you get bored, you can hook up a laptop or game console to the screen as well. Fortunately for you, it can be connected to air conditioning to prevent it from turning it into a sweat-scented deathbox, but you'll still probably emerge from it with pasty, fluorescent-tinged skin, squinting up at that unfamiliar natural light, even less adjusted to deal with the world around you than you were before you went in. Seems like some sort of vicious circle to me, but hey, if you've got that kind of money, you probably don't need to go outside too often anyway.