White House must begin Death Star construction or explain why not

The White House has a website where citizens can create petitions that "call for action on a range of issues facing our nation." Here's one: we don't have a Death Star. Now that a petition to build one has 25,000 signatures, it's up to the White House to either get to work, or tell us why this is not the best idea ever.

The petition, created a month ago, directs the federal government to "secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016," in the interest of "job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more" while also strengthening our national defense. And since those are all good things, that makes this a good idea.

Obviously, The White House may need to make a few tweaks to the project, just to keep other countries from forming some sort of misguided Alliance against it. The petition explicitly states that it must be a "Death Star," but maybe we can allow a little bit of flexibility there: something like, "Happy and Prosperous Star of Death." Or, we just pretend that "D.E.A.T.H." is simply an acronym for something innocuous, like "Deadly Experimental Assault THingy."

This will be fantastic for the economy, too. A construction job of this magnitude will require a helluva lot more manpower than the U.S. Army has to offer. I'll bet there will be independent contractors working on this thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers. Just make sure you know the risks, and before you choose the job, listen to your heart, not your wallet, lest you become a casualty of a war you had nothing to do with.

The White House has yet to post an official response giving either a target completion date or some reason why building a Death Star isn't a tremendous idea. If it vetoes the petition, there can only be one reason: it's because we've already secretly got a Death Star that's fully armed and operational. I mean, when was the last time you looked at the Moon closely enough to be able to tell whether it's really a Moon, or in fact a space station?

Via The White House

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